A new French life in Bordeaux (Part One)

Clare, it has been lovely connecting with you. Thank you for participating in my occasional series, ‘Australians in France.’ I can relate to so much of what you have written - and I am sure that anyone who is thinking of a move to France will appreciate your thoughts on your experience so far. 

Clare can be found on Instagram @mme_cabernet_franks.

Please enjoy Part One of our interview.

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your French connection?

Although I’ve dreamt about France for much of my life, I had never been here before 2019! In 2019, I took long service leave from my work as a government lawyer in Melbourne, and my husband, Adam, and I packed up a few suitcases, a pram, travel cot, a car seat, a booster seat and a couple of backpacks and headed to LA and Europe for 4 months with our just-turned-2 year old and almost-5 year old children! Were we crazy? Maybe. Was it worth it? Absolutely. People kept telling us how hard it would be to travel for 4 months with 2 small children. My response? “It’s hard in Melbourne. I’d rather be having a hard time with 2 small children in the South of France!”

 

We visited my family in Ireland, went to London, Copenhagen, Berlin and then headed to Paris. We hadn’t booked the last 7 weeks of our stay in Europe and planned to do 10 days in Paris, a week or so in Aix-en-Provence and then head to Switzerland (via Annecy), perhaps Vienna or Italy and then back to LA for time with my in-laws, then home. We ended up loving France so much that we spent the entire last 7 weeks in France! 

 

As soon as we got back, we started learning French on Duolingo and Babbel, eating French food as much as possible and searching out the best croissants in Melbourne! 

 

What was it that prompted you to head to France with your family? How long did you anticipate staying originally?

 

We returned to Melbourne in mid-January 2020. At the time, there was increasing talk of a novel virus coming out of China - we had no clue at that time how much it would impact our lives and future. We spent the next year and a half in some level of lockdown (Melbourne had the longest in the world at that point), with the kids unable to go to daycare or school for most of 2020. The only real plus was that we were able to put a lot into our savings while we weren’t spending $500 a week on childcare fees, or anything on eating out or doing fun activities! 

 

Sadly, in late March of 2020, my wonderful mother-in-law passed away from pancreatic cancer. Andrea was not quite 70 when she passed and had only retired from work 2.5 years prior, after her diagnosis. She wasn’t able to travel during that period, so we took the kids to LA to visit as much as possible. Between the epic Melbourne covid lockdowns and the loss of Andrea, Adam and I felt like life was so short and the future so uncertain that we wanted to make the most of our lockdown savings. Over a bottle of wine and a French meal one evening, Adam said “you know, we could live in France for a year with that money” I responded “uhhh YEAH WE COULD! When should we leave?” *Adam tried to back out a few times after that conversation, but I was intent on making it happen and kept reminding him that it was his idea! 

 

For inspiration, I immediately started reading all manner of ‘we-packed-up-our -lives-and-moved-to-France’ books, the first being “But you are in France, Madame”! 

 

To undertake a trip such as yours there must have been a fair amount of preparation. What were some of the things on your pre-departure to-do list and do you have any hints for families who might be thinking of doing the same thing?

 

I’m lucky enough to have an Irish parent and had taken out my Irish citizenship in my 20s. As such, visas weren’t an issue for us. I immediately applied for the children’s Irish citizenship and discovered that between Brexit and Covid, the wait was going to be nearly 2 years! We got some advice on the type of visa Adam would need (titre de séjour) and then we started planning in earnest. We decided to rent out our house (to come back to) but to sell all our furniture, the car, etc. Because the kids and I have EU citizenship and Adam was entitled to a 5-year titre de séjour, we decided that if we liked life in France and could find work, we’d stay as long as we were happy here.

 

We started the boys in French lessons, signed ourselves up for a weekly online session with a French tutor on Preply, put sticky notes around the house with the French word for what it was ‘la chambre, le miroir, la toilette, la porte, la fenêtre’ - they were everywhere! We also made a million lists of things we needed to do/sell/buy/organise, One for leaving Australia, one for living in France. Ticking off those boxes was very satisfying! I looked up websites with useful information about moving overseas - especially to France. We looked into healthcare, school (we considered International, private and public schools), remote work opportunities, etc. I also joined a few ‘Australians in France’ facebook groups and posted with some questions about their moves and anything we needed to know. People in those groups were really helpful and I found some others who were also planning a year in France at the same time, so it was really nice to be able to discuss planning details and challenges with them.

 

My top tip is honestly to get a good relocation agent. Unless you’re fluent in French, you really need someone who can speak to immobiliers (real estate agents) about rentals, give you advice on rental (or sale) contracts, fill out school application paperwork (if kids are going to a French public school) and all your utilities contracts, and help you set up all your other paperwork - carte vitale, etc. It’s worth every penny you’ll pay them, just for the stress-reduction alone! We also leased a car for a couple of months, which you can arrange from Australia in advance.

 

My other top tip is ‘you can’t start clearing out your worldly goods too soon!’ We were packing up and still doing op-shop runs on our last day! We decided early on that we’d take only 4-5 large suitcases, much like you, Catherine. Furniture is just that and there’s plenty of amazing furniture in France, likewise clothing/fashion! We sent a suitcase of special things to mum’s house (along with the dog and cat) and shipped over 3 boxes of useful items, such as Adam’s woodworking tools and baseball gear, my Kitchenaid mixer and horse riding gear (the essentials!) and some special photos/paintings etc. Everything else could be easily bought here (and believe me, we’ve accumulated plenty of stuff already!)

 

How did you choose where you would live? Does this area live up to your expectations?

 

Initially, we thought perhaps the stunning Annecy could be a good option. We absolutely loved it when we visited in 2019, but ultimately decided that 2 people born in desert cities (Adelaide and LA) were probably not quite ready to live in the Alps winters! We considered Lyon and Montpellier, initially, before Adam googled “best places to live in France with children” and Bordeaux popped up. We struck Lyon off the list when we decided we couldn’t live 5 hours’ drive from the beach, and Montpellier off the list when I put my foot down and said that my pasty ginger self had spent enough of my life covered from head to toe in sunscreen and wasn’t really very suited to the Mediterranean life! 

 

Bordeaux was the perfect in-between. It’s a stunningly beautiful city (it truly is a mini-Paris), it’s close to beautiful countryside, medieval villages and also to the beach. The city also has a very green-thinking mairie. The public transport is excellent, a lot like Melbourne, people walk/bike/scoot everywhere, and there are wonderful little potager gardens along the riverside, as well as fruit trees in the local parcs. We adore Bordeaux and her surrounds. The weather is generally pretty good (although 2023 summer left a lot to be desired - it rained SO much.) and the beach is less than an hour away, so our little Aussie hearts are satisfied with that.  

 

Thankfully, I didn’t have to continue life as a lawyer here in France. One of the many benefits of Bordeaux is the amazing wine region! I gave up lawyer life and was lucky enough to score a job as a wine tour guide for the 2024 tourism season (March-October). I quickly learnt as much as humanly possible about wine-making, tasting and the wine history of Bordeaux, as well as some general history, and started driving tourists to Saint-Émilion and the Médoc for wine tours and tastings. It was such an incredible way to get to know the area and the wines of Bordeaux (and make some euros at the same time). I also made some truly wonderful French friends - I was one of only 3 non-French guides in the team. They’ve helped me with my French, wine and food knowledge and all manner of things - even with translating medical speak at 11pm on a Wednesday when our son ended up in hospital! 

 

You have two children. How easily did they make the transition into French living? Can you tell us a bit about their experiences of school, making friends, adjusting to new routines, food etc?

 

The boys were our biggest concern regarding the move. Our oldest was 8 and our youngest 5 when we left Australia. The oldest had a very close friendship group since childcare days, and it was truly heartbreaking to be breaking them up. We also had to leave our dog and my beloved cat behind, neither of whom would have handled the journey well at all - especially if we were to return after a year and they’d had to spend 8 weeks in quarantine. Saying goodbye to their beloved pets was excruciating.

 

Initially, we started the boys off in an international school. Again, if we only stayed in France for a year it felt a little kinder for them to spend half their week in French and half in English, to have friends in similar situations to them who they could bond with over that experience, and for us to have some expat friends too. Unfortunately, the school we chose had only just opened the new campus we’d chosen and the administration wasn’t great, so we ended up moving them to a French public school after only one term. They made friends with a lovely boy from that school though and our families have become really close. 

 

Adjusting to French school was tough, especially for our eldest. The language was exhausting for them and they’d often spend the evenings having meltdowns over minor things and crying, which is not normal for our boys. However, we were lucky to have a school that had an international section so it has a wonderful French language catch up program. The boys had 6 hours a week of intensive French classes and our youngest even scored above average in the National school testing in January (after only starting there in November!). 

 

Our oldest son struggled to make friends as the grade 4 kids already had strongly-established friendships. The youngest was fine as he started in CP (first year of primary school), so all the other kids were only just starting and making new friendships too - he’s also very talented at soccer, so he was a popular pick for the lunch time teams! Within about 3-4 months, their French was good enough to keep up with their peers and they were both feeling comfortable at school. It was great when they started swim lessons at school too, their friends were all blown away by their prowess in the pool - they’re pretty good by Aussie standards, but impressive compared to the rest of the world! 

 

It really took a whole year for our oldest to feel truly accepted into the friendship groups, though. As a parent, it was so painful to see him struggling when he’d been so settled with his friends back home in Australia. However, it’s also been one of the most wonderful things to watch him become bilingual and create secure friendships with French kids at school. They’re both really thriving now, which is such a relief and a joy to see. We’re so proud of how hard they’ve both worked to become fluent in French in such a short time and to overcome the challenges of not only starting a new school, but in another language. 

 

As for food, initially they didn’t like the French school lunches and ate mostly the endless pieces of baguette with butter for lunch. But now they eat almost everything they’re served up there and are super picky about their cheeses.. a comté (French cheese made from unpasteurised cow's milk) simply MUST be aged for at least 18 months and they love a nice goat’s cheese too!. Rest assured that whenever there is a grève (strike) - every term at least, they get a Vegemite sandwich and caramello koala or killer python in their lunchbox!

 

Oh and their favourite thing about school in France? No school on Wednesday. 

Thanks so much, Clare. I look forward to sharing Part Two of our interview soon where you reflect on some of your more memorable moments, and let us know if your French journey is set to continue. Until then, Clare can be found on Instagram @mme_cabernet_franks

And for another French-Australian story (mine 😊), please find below links to my 5 books (including Books 1-3 in my 'French at Heart' series). With thanks.

The links should take you to where you need to go, wherever you are in the world, to make a purchase.

• But you are in France, Madame: One family, three children, five bags and the promise of adventure living in the French Alps
• Weaving a French Life: An Australian story
• Love, fear and a return to France: A family memoir
• With bare feet and sandy toes: Growing up in Australia in the 1960s & 70s
• Talk and Play with your Child in French

How can you know if you’ve got what it takes?

On the way up or down?

Not many writers have the career highlights to which Jack Heath can lay claim. Notably, how many of us have submitted a manuscript, our first, and had it picked up by a traditional publisher? Quite a few, you might suggest. Yes, yes. But how many of those lucky ones had their first manuscript picked up by a traditional publisher at the age of seventeen? I wouldn’t have a clue. But, of those who had their first submission selected for publication at the tender age of 17, how many have had that same book go on to become an international bestseller AND be named Young Australian of the Year for good measure a few years after that?

Hmmm. I would guess not many. Certainly not me on any of the counts.

 

I listened to Jack speak from the middle of the jam-packed dining room at the Carrington hotel in the Blue Mountains a few weekends ago. Microphone in hand, I was doing my best to blend in, fade, and jump outstretched legs to avoid undue intimacy, whilst attempting to reach those in the crowd who wished to ask a question of the esteemed speaker.

 

Audience member: Excuse-me, you’re blocking my view. (that was to me, not Jack)

 

Me: Oh sorry.

 

Audience member no. 2: I can’t see now. (that, too, was to me)

 

Me: Ah. Got it.

 

“Your turn now” (again, me, whispering as I placed the microphone in a different audience member no. 3’s hands and stood back to block the view of yet another)

 

Audience member no. 3: Jack, can you tell us how you navigated that period of not knowing whether you could do it? It is easy for you now that you have ‘made it’ as an author, but back then, can you tell us how you felt and what you did specifically to help with that feeling?

 

Jack: (laughing gently) I’m not sure that you ever feel that you have ‘made it.’ Today, this very second could be the zenith of my career. But, let me tell you that after the success of book one, books two, three, four, five, six and seven* were all flops.

 

Deep in contemplation of that number of failed manuscripts, I must have missed the next bit where presumably he spoke of his emotions and then said what I have heard over and again from writers about writing being his life, his incapacity to not write, or the urgent need to write …or maybe not.

 

I re-connected when I heard the word lunchbox (food tends to get my attention) and lost focus again for a few seconds. It was mid-morning after all.

 

Jack: I realised that I needed to be honest about my journey for those who are trying to get somewhere (I heard him say after having metaphorically consumed a pickle-and-mortadella sandwich of my husband’s school days).

 

Kind. That is so very reassuring. Now, all the budding writers in the audience (most I’d say) can feel confident that if their treasured words are not cutting the mustard with the industry gatekeeper publishers right now (or on their next six or seven attempts), when they get to their 40^th, 50^th or 69^th published book, like Jack, they can look back on his encouragement to just keep going and nod sagely.

 

Oh, I forgot to say that Jack’s first crime thriller was voted one of the 100 best books of all time … twice. 

 

*I might have lost count here

No, I am not up to number 69, but my 5 books (including Books 1-3 in my 'French at Heart' series celebrating my French-Australian life) are linked below.

The links should take you to where you need to go, wherever you are in the world, to make a purchase.

• But you are in France, Madame: One family, three children, five bags and the promise of adventure living in the French Alps
• Weaving a French Life: An Australian story
• Love, fear and a return to France: A family memoir
• With bare feet and sandy toes: Growing up in Australia in the 1960s & 70s
• Talk and Play with your Child in French

No thank you for the music

Finding the blue sky on a brisk winter's day. Holyrood Palace

Spotify CEO Daniel Ek’s comment that the “cost of creating ‘content’ is close to zero” was recently passed under my nose. On the nose, I’d suggest is more accurate. For whom exactly is the cost close to zero? Could it be that Monsieur Ek is suggesting that every minute, hour, week -nay year- that I spend as a creative, producing content, is worth nothing?

 

Today, in local news items in Australia, yet another article on the increased salaries of company directors and CEOs was waved in my direction. This, as families struggle to make ends meet, forego purchasing necessary medication, cancel their children’s dance classes and skip meals to meet their elevated mortgage commitments.

 

Is this a rant? I guess so. But hear me out.

 

I ran into a neighbour yesterday and he asked how my writing was going. He is always interested, always impressed with what I do. I told him that I am about to start work on recording my second, third and fourth books for the audio book market. Excitedly, he pointed out that he knew a fellow down the road who had a studio – a proper recording studio – that I might be able to use.

 

“That’s a lovely suggestion but, financial constraints dictate that my ‘studio’ will continue to comprise a wall of foam blocks around my desk, a blanket under my computer, curtains drawn and another blanket over my head.”

 

I didn’t go on to tell him that I had received my audio book sales report that afternoon that showed that when listeners decide to play the system, listen to a full book, return it, and get credit for it, I lose money on the transaction. I don’t just give back what I would have earned, I actually pay for their sneakiness. Neither did I tell him that it hurts when some readers baulk at the cost of a book at $3.99 but will pay $4.50 for a cup of coffee. I also really wanted to tell him what my full year’s income as a writer is, but pride stopped me.

 

I love my neighbour’s enthusiasm for what I do. I thank him for his interest as I thank and appreciate every one of my readers. Is it possible that overpaid CEOs of the world might one day value me, my output, and my time in the same way? The sad truth is that they probably won’t.

 

I guess I’ll have to continue working a second job in order to justify the hours that I spend writing and marketing my ‘no-cost’ content.

With thanks for your ongoing support, here are my books (including Books 1-3 in the 'French at Heart' series)

The links should take you to where you need to go, wherever you are in the world, to make a purchase. 

• But you are in France, Madame: One family, three children, five bags and the promise of adventure living in the French Alps
• Weaving a French Life: An Australian story
• Love, fear and a return to France: A family memoir
• With bare feet and sandy toes: Growing up in Australia in the 1960s & 70s

Bright, beautiful moment on a windy day in Edinburgh

 

 

Smiley with strong arms

Talloires under the snow

'The review is in Swedish and I've made a quick attempt to find a translation without success.'

'Send me the link,' my husband texted, from five-thousand kilometres away.

'I'd say the listener thinks that you have a nice smile and good arm muscles,' he quipped.

'Ha. I'll take that,' I wrote back, chuckling to myself.

It had been a couple of weeks since the audiobook version of But you are in France, Madame had appeared on listening platforms and I was keen to see if there had been any activity. To my delight, both library borrows and purchases had occurred around the world - including apparently in Sweden. 

Big high fives all around using my strong arms.

In other news, during the week I received the monthly e-bulletin from Talloires, my French village. To say that I was proud of my French home would be an understatement. 

Alongside the expected practical updates such as the arrival of the snow and subsequent snow plough activity, the articles covered 

• the opening of a new centre for the youth of the village, 
• an opportunity to reduce one's fuel costs by opting for a group order (limiting the travel and costs of the fuel trucks, which are then passed on to the consumer), 
• the announcement of a free bus service into Annecy every weekend up until Christmas (reducing congestion and limiting emissions), 
• a local workshop exploring ways to act for the climate, 
• free health checks for individuals aged over 60, 
• the village festival on 15 Dec and village Christmas market featuring local artisans on Dec 9,
• a winter program for parent-children activities at one of the local cafes, 
• dates for contributing to Lake Aid whose purpose is to assist refugees in need, 
• the village cinema program, 
• ski enrolment details for school children plus alternatives to families driving to the mountains to ski (tick, tick again for the environment), 
• an invitation to attend a public meeting to discuss the Annecy climate-pacte objectives,
• details of the annual stand-up-paddle race that attracts competitors from all around the world, 
• &
• tips and eco-labels for environmentally responsible businesses 

We are a small village of approximately 1500 inhabitants in a magical natural setting with diverse winter and summer attractions; a Michelin-starred restaurant; cinema; tennis and boules courts; bakery; newsagent; superette; and multiple hotels, restaurants and cafes, but we are also dynamic and community minded. 

One beaming Talloirienne here.

Catherine's books (including Books 1-3 in her 'French at Heart' series celebrating her French-Australian life) below.

The links should take you to where you need to go, wherever you are in the world, to make a purchase.

• But you are in France, Madame: One family, three children, five bags and the promise of adventure living in the French Alps
• Weaving a French Life: An Australian story
• Love, fear and a return to France: A family memoir
• With bare feet and sandy toes: Growing up in Australia in the 1960s & 70s

As a special request, if you are buying a print copy of Love, fear and a return to France, I would be so grateful if you could do so through my friend Kristi's page. Kristi has provided fun, family-centred posts of her life in France in her French Word-A-Day blog for many years now and relies on reader contributions to maintain her wonderful efforts. Should you use the link above on the left sidebar of her blog, Kristi will benefit and it will be at no extra cost to you. 

Plus, I will be standing by with a big smiley face. 😊 

Yes. Italy.

 

Yes. Italy.

There, I said it. You are my witnesses.

 

Many of you know our story: that of a young Australian family with three school-aged children who went to France for a year, stayed for much longer than that, and brought France forever more into their hearts. There, we learned to live with passion and joy - savouring moments differently; appreciating tastes and sounds more intensely; developing new seasonal routines that somehow embraced flexibility; and resisting, before acknowledging, an unfamiliarity that ultimately became who we were.

 

Then we returned to Australia.

Please don’t be angry or judge me as I know that there is plenty of beauty in Australia too with daily opportunities for fulfilment, and a sweet and generous quality of life, but for me, that largely indefinable thing that fires my senses is elsewhere.

 

To backtrack a little, I went to France as a French speaker, a teacher of French with decades of language study behind me. It was still challenging but at least I had some certainty that I could get by in the language, and that that skill would facilitate my family’s integration.

 

I don’t speak Italian.

I am learning, though, and motivated to make fast progress. It helps that there are similarities both with French grammar and vocabulary. Not so, pronunciation. Will I, am I contorting the French language currently as a result of the incursion of a new sound system into my subconscious? ‘Fraid so. In minor ways. They still make me cringe.

 

My husband’s roots are Italian. He can sound Italian, after all his mother’s voice has been with him his whole life. But he doesn’t speak Italian. He grew up in an era when children of newly arrived Australian immigrants were ‘sheltered’ from the ‘inconvenience’ of having non-English-speaking parents. Mind you, no such restraint was practiced when preparing his pickle and salami school-lunchbox sandwiches. They succeeded in marking his difference just as effectively.

So, why not just return to France? Why Italy?

 

Growth, challenge, desire, anticipation …

 

Growth. I cannot exclaim proudly that we grew linearly as a result of our French living. Frequently, I shrank, struggled and hid, but something beautiful eventually came from periods of incomprehension and darkness.

Challenge. Our family adventure in France was filled with challenges. I expect that this new direction will provide even more but, perhaps obtusely, challenge drives us.

Desire. Does that even need an explanation?

Anticipation. Can we do this again? What awaits? Who will be a part of our journey? Do we know these people yet?

On a practical level, our Italian experience cannot be a duplicate of our French one. I have no easy European access as I did then. Brexit took that privilege away from me. So, amongst other constraints, we have time limitations. Plus, our children are no longer living with us, so we will not have the regularity of a school year and the immediacy of a school family to lean on. Plus, we don’t know where in Italy. A random opening of the Lonely Planet guidebook led us to Annecy. What will decide our destination this time?

 

There, I have put it out there. You are all my witnesses.

 

After all, if not soon, when?

Catherine's books (including her books celebrating her French-Australian life) below.

The links should take you to where you need to go, wherever you are in the world, to make a purchase.

Merci mille fois

But you are in France, Madame: One family, three children, five bags and the promise of adventure living in the French Alps

Weaving a French Life: An Australian story

Love, fear and a return to France: A family memoir

With bare feet and sandy toes: Growing up in Australia in the 1960s & 70s