Clare can be found on Instagram @mme_cabernet_franks.
Please enjoy Part One of our interview.
Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your French connection?
Although I’ve dreamt about France for much of my life, I had never been here before 2019! In 2019, I took long service leave from my work as a government lawyer in Melbourne, and my husband, Adam, and I packed up a few suitcases, a pram, travel cot, a car seat, a booster seat and a couple of backpacks and headed to LA and Europe for 4 months with our just-turned-2 year old and almost-5 year old children! Were we crazy? Maybe. Was it worth it? Absolutely. People kept telling us how hard it would be to travel for 4 months with 2 small children. My response? “It’s hard in Melbourne. I’d rather be having a hard time with 2 small children in the South of France!”
We visited my family in Ireland, went to London, Copenhagen, Berlin and then headed to Paris. We hadn’t booked the last 7 weeks of our stay in Europe and planned to do 10 days in Paris, a week or so in Aix-en-Provence and then head to Switzerland (via Annecy), perhaps Vienna or Italy and then back to LA for time with my in-laws, then home. We ended up loving France so much that we spent the entire last 7 weeks in France!
As soon as we got back, we started learning French on Duolingo and Babbel, eating French food as much as possible and searching out the best croissants in Melbourne!
What was it that prompted you to head to France with your family? How long did you anticipate staying originally?
Sadly, in late March of 2020, my wonderful mother-in-law passed away from pancreatic cancer. Andrea was not quite 70 when she passed and had only retired from work 2.5 years prior, after her diagnosis. She wasn’t able to travel during that period, so we took the kids to LA to visit as much as possible. Between the epic Melbourne covid lockdowns and the loss of Andrea, Adam and I felt like life was so short and the future so uncertain that we wanted to make the most of our lockdown savings. Over a bottle of wine and a French meal one evening, Adam said “you know, we could live in France for a year with that money” I responded “uhhh YEAH WE COULD! When should we leave?” *Adam tried to back out a few times after that conversation, but I was intent on making it happen and kept reminding him that it was his idea!
To undertake a trip such as yours there must have been a fair amount of preparation. What were some of the things on your pre-departure to-do list and do you have any hints for families who might be thinking of doing the same thing?
I’m lucky enough to have an Irish parent and had taken out my Irish citizenship in my 20s. As such, visas weren’t an issue for us. I immediately applied for the children’s Irish citizenship and discovered that between Brexit and Covid, the wait was going to be nearly 2 years! We got some advice on the type of visa Adam would need (titre de séjour) and then we started planning in earnest. We decided to rent out our house (to come back to) but to sell all our furniture, the car, etc. Because the kids and I have EU citizenship and Adam was entitled to a 5-year titre de séjour, we decided that if we liked life in France and could find work, we’d stay as long as we were happy here.
We started the boys in French lessons, signed ourselves up for a weekly online session with a French tutor on Preply, put sticky notes around the house with the French word for what it was ‘la chambre, le miroir, la toilette, la porte, la fenêtre’ - they were everywhere! We also made a million lists of things we needed to do/sell/buy/organise, One for leaving Australia, one for living in France. Ticking off those boxes was very satisfying! I looked up websites with useful information about moving overseas - especially to France. We looked into healthcare, school (we considered International, private and public schools), remote work opportunities, etc. I also joined a few ‘Australians in France’ facebook groups and posted with some questions about their moves and anything we needed to know. People in those groups were really helpful and I found some others who were also planning a year in France at the same time, so it was really nice to be able to discuss planning details and challenges with them.
My top tip is honestly to get a good relocation agent. Unless you’re fluent in French, you really need someone who can speak to immobiliers (real estate agents) about rentals, give you advice on rental (or sale) contracts, fill out school application paperwork (if kids are going to a French public school) and all your utilities contracts, and help you set up all your other paperwork - carte vitale, etc. It’s worth every penny you’ll pay them, just for the stress-reduction alone! We also leased a car for a couple of months, which you can arrange from Australia in advance.
My other top tip is ‘you can’t start clearing out your worldly goods too soon!’ We were packing up and still doing op-shop runs on our last day! We decided early on that we’d take only 4-5 large suitcases, much like you, Catherine. Furniture is just that and there’s plenty of amazing furniture in France, likewise clothing/fashion! We sent a suitcase of special things to mum’s house (along with the dog and cat) and shipped over 3 boxes of useful items, such as Adam’s woodworking tools and baseball gear, my Kitchenaid mixer and horse riding gear (the essentials!) and some special photos/paintings etc. Everything else could be easily bought here (and believe me, we’ve accumulated plenty of stuff already!)
How did you choose where you would live? Does this area live up to your expectations?
Initially, we thought perhaps the stunning Annecy could be a good option. We absolutely loved it when we visited in 2019, but ultimately decided that 2 people born in desert cities (Adelaide and LA) were probably not quite ready to live in the Alps winters! We considered Lyon and Montpellier, initially, before Adam googled “best places to live in France with children” and Bordeaux popped up. We struck Lyon off the list when we decided we couldn’t live 5 hours’ drive from the beach, and Montpellier off the list when I put my foot down and said that my pasty ginger self had spent enough of my life covered from head to toe in sunscreen and wasn’t really very suited to the Mediterranean life!
Thankfully, I didn’t have to continue life as a lawyer here in France. One of the many benefits of Bordeaux is the amazing wine region! I gave up lawyer life and was lucky enough to score a job as a wine tour guide for the 2024 tourism season (March-October). I quickly learnt as much as humanly possible about wine-making, tasting and the wine history of Bordeaux, as well as some general history, and started driving tourists to Saint-Émilion and the Médoc for wine tours and tastings. It was such an incredible way to get to know the area and the wines of Bordeaux (and make some euros at the same time). I also made some truly wonderful French friends - I was one of only 3 non-French guides in the team. They’ve helped me with my French, wine and food knowledge and all manner of things - even with translating medical speak at 11pm on a Wednesday when our son ended up in hospital!
You have two children. How easily did they make the transition into French living? Can you tell us a bit about their experiences of school, making friends, adjusting to new routines, food etc?
The boys were our biggest concern regarding the move. Our oldest was 8 and our youngest 5 when we left Australia. The oldest had a very close friendship group since childcare days, and it was truly heartbreaking to be breaking them up. We also had to leave our dog and my beloved cat behind, neither of whom would have handled the journey well at all - especially if we were to return after a year and they’d had to spend 8 weeks in quarantine. Saying goodbye to their beloved pets was excruciating.
Initially, we started the boys off in an international school. Again, if we only stayed in France for a year it felt a little kinder for them to spend half their week in French and half in English, to have friends in similar situations to them who they could bond with over that experience, and for us to have some expat friends too. Unfortunately, the school we chose had only just opened the new campus we’d chosen and the administration wasn’t great, so we ended up moving them to a French public school after only one term. They made friends with a lovely boy from that school though and our families have become really close.
Adjusting to French school was tough, especially for our eldest. The language was exhausting for them and they’d often spend the evenings having meltdowns over minor things and crying, which is not normal for our boys. However, we were lucky to have a school that had an international section so it has a wonderful French language catch up program. The boys had 6 hours a week of intensive French classes and our youngest even scored above average in the National school testing in January (after only starting there in November!).
Our oldest son struggled to make friends as the grade 4 kids already had strongly-established friendships. The youngest was fine as he started in CP (first year of primary school), so all the other kids were only just starting and making new friendships too - he’s also very talented at soccer, so he was a popular pick for the lunch time teams! Within about 3-4 months, their French was good enough to keep up with their peers and they were both feeling comfortable at school. It was great when they started swim lessons at school too, their friends were all blown away by their prowess in the pool - they’re pretty good by Aussie standards, but impressive compared to the rest of the world!
It really took a whole year for our oldest to feel truly accepted into the friendship groups, though. As a parent, it was so painful to see him struggling when he’d been so settled with his friends back home in Australia. However, it’s also been one of the most wonderful things to watch him become bilingual and create secure friendships with French kids at school. They’re both really thriving now, which is such a relief and a joy to see. We’re so proud of how hard they’ve both worked to become fluent in French in such a short time and to overcome the challenges of not only starting a new school, but in another language.
As for food, initially they didn’t like the French school lunches and ate mostly the endless pieces of baguette with butter for lunch. But now they eat almost everything they’re served up there and are super picky about their cheeses.. a comté (French cheese made from unpasteurised cow's milk) simply MUST be aged for at least 18 months and they love a nice goat’s cheese too!. Rest assured that whenever there is a grève (strike) - every term at least, they get a Vegemite sandwich and caramello koala or killer python in their lunchbox!
Oh and their favourite thing about school in France? No school on Wednesday.
Thanks so much, Clare. I look forward to sharing Part Two of our interview soon where you reflect on some of your more memorable moments, and let us know if your French journey is set to continue. Until then, Clare can be found on Instagram @mme_cabernet_franks
And for another French-Australian story (mine 😊), please find below links to my 5 books (including Books 1-3 in my 'French at Heart' series). With thanks.
The links should take you to where you need to go, wherever you are in the world, to make a purchase.
- But you are in France, Madame: One family, three children, five bags and the promise of adventure living in the French Alps
- Weaving a French Life: An Australian story
- Love, fear and a return to France: A family memoir
- With bare feet and sandy toes: Growing up in Australia in the 1960s & 70s
- Talk and Play with your Child in French
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