If not now Paris

If not now ... Paris at night 

Have I been a consistent blog contributor over the last few years? No. I can't claim to have shown up regularly here, but to my surprise thousands of you check in every month. Either you do me a great honour or it is the bots keeping an eye out. Let's presume it is the first because today I have an introduction to make. 

Blog aside, social-media reticence aside, Instagram is where I hang out. Kandi, too, but I'll let her tell you her story:

Kandi, it has been lovely connecting with you. Thank you for participating in my (very) occasional series, ‘Australians in France.’

Your wonderful Instagram handle @ifnotnowparis tells a story. Can you fill us in? Why now and why Paris?

People often assume there must have been some dramatic catalyst, a marriage crisis, a career burnout or an early midlife crisis involving a sports car.

The truth is far less cinematic.

At 52, I realised I'd accidentally started talking about life as though the interesting bits were behind me. My husband, who's twenty-two years older than me, had somehow managed to cram more adventures into his fifties than I'd given myself permission to contemplate. Meanwhile, I'd started behaving as though mine were the beginning of the end.

That seemed like a fairly ridiculous attitude to take. So I rented an apartment in Paris and moved in alone. If not now, Paris became less of an Instagram handle and more of a challenge to myself. If I wasn't going to do it now... when exactly was I planning to?

How long do you anticipate living in Paris?

Officially, eight months.

Unofficially... ask me after I've had to board the flight home.

The plan has always been to return to Australia for Christmas, but let's just say I'm no longer ruling anything out.

To undertake a trip such as yours there must have been a fair amount of preparation. What were some of the things on your pre-departure to-do list and do you have any hints for anyone who might be thinking of doing the same thing?

The visa was probably the biggest hurdle. Australians can only spend 90 days in the Schengen Area without one, so that process started two months before I left.

My biggest piece of advice? Don't wait until everything is perfect.

There is no magical moment where every loose end has been tied up. If I'd waited for that, I'd still be sitting in Melbourne researching adapters and overseas phone plans. 

How did you choose the area and apartment where you now live in Paris? Your Instagram followers would have heard your apartment tales (unresponsive manager, inaccurate ad description …). Any updates?

Location was easy.

I wanted to be able to walk everywhere and have instant access to great dining and specialty food stores, so I opted to live on the right bank amongst the historical centre.

As I work from home, having an external view was an important feature too. 

The apartment itself... let's call it an excellent lesson in French resistance!

It was advertised with blackout blinds and air-conditioning. It has neither. During Paris' record-breaking heatwave, I ended up installing my own thermal backed curtains because the property manager wouldn't. 

The dispute is still ongoing, although public pressure on their social media account seems remarkably more effective than unanswered emails.

Now settled in France, what does a typical day look like for you? You’ve intimated that you are learning French. How, if at all, has that impacted your settling in?

People imagine my days are all champagne on café terraces.

The reality is usually emails, Zoom calls with Australian clients, trying to work out French hardware stores and applying bandaids to my blistered feet because I’m now walking so much.

I'm learning French every day, mostly by necessity. I've done an immersion course in Avignon but I’m far from being able to hold a conversation and routinely confuse words in spectacular fashion.

The effort, though, changes everything. French people are incredibly patient when they can see you're genuinely trying and though my grammar may be questionable, I think my enthusiasm counts for something.

Do you have any stories that you are able to share with us: moments that have been joyous, difficult (other than dealing with your apartment managers), rewarding, funny etc.

One of the unexpected joys has been learning to enjoy being told non.

Australians tend to believe the customer is always right. The French seem to believe the customer is usually wrong, but with a little guidance can be saved from themselves. I wandered into a store to replace my favourite mascara. The saleswomen looked at it, looked at me and simply said, "Non." Apparently, that mascara was no longer for me. She handed me a different one instead. She was absolutely right. It's much better.

The same thing happened at my local fromagerie. I confidently asked for a particular fromage chèvre to recreate a strawberry and pecan salad I'd eaten at a restaurant. The cheesemonger wanted to know what dressing I was using. Before I could finish

explaining, he declared, "Non," and started cutting samples of cheeses that were, in his opinion, far more suitable.

At this point, the French woman waiting behind me decided to join the conversation.

She quizzed me about the dressing, frowned at my answers and enthusiastically recommended an alternative. The only word I understood was Dijon.

I've stopped interpreting these moments as criticism and started seeing them as generosity. The French seem genuinely delighted to share what they know, and I'm discovering that saying yes to being corrected is a surprisingly enjoyable way to learn.

And finally, would you recommend the experience of living in France?

Without hesitation.

Not because France is perfect, it most certainly isn't, but because living somewhere is completely different from visiting.

Thanks so much, Kandi. As someone who has received her fair share of 'non,' I could relate to your answers. I am sure that any who peek at my blog with a dream of France will be inspired by your enthusiasm and 'just do it' approach.

I look forward to staying in touch.

If you would like to follow Kandi's journey, her photos and Paris updates can be found on Instagram here

PS If you have just found your way to me,  here are the links to all my books: French series Italian series

And, as always, you can find me on Instagram here.

What a privilege it is

@ourfrenchvillagehouse Talloires

What a privilege it is.

Beaufort d’été. If you haven’t tasted this raw cow’s milk French mountain cheese with its distinctive concave heel, come … try. I challenge you to place a sliver on your tongue and deny your eyebrows a dance of tastebud synchronicity. AND at 26 euro per kilo (it’s triple that in Australia) you might feel inclined to re-engage with the charming, jolly cheesemaker who has captured your attention and ask for more.

“Je prends cette tranche ici, s’il vous plaît.” (I’ll have this slice here, please.)

 

Ooh. Seduced I must have been as it weighed in at a hefty one kilogram plus.

It felt like the right amount this morning at the Thônes market. But doesn’t it always when one is strolling in sans-coat weather under a bright blue sky and where the pre-market coffee and the friendly stallholder chit-chat stroke your cheeks and leave a trace of rouge.

 

It was a day off from the inevitable return-to-France, long days preparing our French village house (@ourfrenchvillagehouse) for its summer guests. The still snowcapped mountains of the Aravis knew to sparkle a spectacular welcome and the Reblochon Fermier (from the Reblochon capital), nine plump white asparagus, a fennel bulb and a basket of strawberries jumped at the opportunity to join our weighty bag of cheese.

Such a privilege to then carry our goods home and with my feet encased by tiny daisies to stand under the shade of the tilleul tree in our back garden and search against the cliffs of the Dents de Lanfon for the puffs of colour that I know to be paragliders.

From our back garden in Talloires

It is so special. When absent I forget how unique this beautiful corner of the world is, but am rewarded each time with an extra shiver of re-discovery.

Delayed by a month, we made it back to France a few weeks ago, landing in Paris to reunite with our eldest daughter (flyingpossum_illustrations). Together, we undertook a road trip into Germany to spend time with daughter number two before heading south towards Annecy where serendipity brought us to Kate and Nathan’s front door (la_grande_maison_burgundy) and the opportunity to embrace another pen pal of the modern era. if you are travellling in Burgundy, look them up. You won't regret it. Link here to my previous blog chat with Kate. 

Kate and me @la_grande_maison_burgundy

 

Joy, beauty and gratitude in spades.

Here are the links to all my books:

French series Italian series

And, as always, you can find me on Instagram here.

Live in Italy, write about Italy, sit an Italian exam ...

Orgosolo - Sardegna

Live in Italy, write about Italy, sit an Italian exam ... yes, a bit one-tracked, I admit, but these were my goals for 2025 and as of a few days ago, the last of these was ticked off.

Honestly, I am now a bit lost.

For me, writing is all consuming. When I start a project I have to keep going until it is done. Fortunately, I have a husband who understands, stokes the fire, shops and cooks for those intense periods - and for that I am grateful.

Two books were not my intention when I began. But writing about Italy was. In fact, this story ... these books ... have been playing on my mind for more than ten years. And to complete a task, follow through on an idea or take actionable steps to fulfil a dream are what keeps me going. 

By October, I was ready to publish, but I waited until Nov 1. This date was important to me as it marked ten years exactly since the publication of my first memoir But you are in France, Madame. From accidental writing beginnings, never could I have imagined that ten years down the track I would be publishing my seventh book. It was a 'wow' moment for sure.

That done, my next date loomed. By December 4, I needed to be ready to sit an Italian language exam. Decades had passed since I last sat a formal exam and my nerves were in full derail mode. But, I walked out of the exam room, not only relieved and exhausted, but on an emotional, humanity-is-good high.

Let me tell you about it ...

The onslaught of Italian began with ringing the doorbell to the exam centre and my head, my mind, my body was not ready. But, I had four exam parts to complete: Listening, Reading, Writing and Speaking.

"Terrorizzata" was how my examiner described me when we were chatting at the end. I didn't know the word. I certainly knew the feeling. In fact, the first play through of the Listening Test was a complete blur. The only thing going through my head was 'I should be listening, the exam is happening, I really should be listening...' 

Listening component done. Fingers crossed.

"Would you like some water?"

"Oh, it's OK. I have my water bottle, thank you."

A bottle of cold water was brought.

Onto the reading test.

I had calmed slightly.

"And now we have la pausa. Would you like some coffee?"

Wait, what? I've never been offered coffee mid-exam before. But this was Italy in the suburbs of Sydney - or at least Italians hell-bent on making sure that all candidates were greeted and treated like family.

With a little bit of chocolate ... 

I don't know if I have passed the exam as the papers need to be sent back to Siena and, true to the snail pace of Italian bureaucracy, I won't for months. But, it, the result, (almost) seems secondary. The examiners wanted us to pass. They were not there to judge, scrutinise and make us feel inept. They were there to encourage and support us.

What a revelation.

What a wonderful way to approach education.

With a copy of their newspaper and museum guide as parting gifts.

I can't say that I would rush to put myself under that sort of pressure again, but in amongst the current darkness of parts of the world, kind people exist. 

It was a good reminder.

If you have already added Book One, But you are in Italy, Signora: Prelude to an Italian Spring or Book Two, But you are in Italy, Signora: Diary of a Tuscan Beginner to your To Be Read list, that is wonderful news.

If you have read and enjoyed them, a review would be so helpful. They guide others to our story in a world that is both shying away from reading books and becoming increasingly reliant on the views of others to make decisions.

Here are the links to all my books:

French series Italian series

And, as always, you can find me on Instagram here.

Buon Natale, Joyeux Noël, Happy Festive Season and thank you for another year of support for my writing efforts.

Writing a book. What did I do?

Each writer has his or her own method and mine will not work for everyone or every genre. But, for those of you who have contacted me with an idea and a goal to write a book - this blog post is for you.

• I roughed out a timeline for finishing and made it generous, hoping that I could bring it forward.
• Before writing a word of the book, I made notes regarding the message I was trying to relay, thought about the feelings and themes I was trying to evoke, and, more significantly, tried to work out what the project meant to me.
• When ready, I wrote every day. 
• I aimed for 1000 words per day, whilst wanting and hoping for more.
• I broke the day into sections – before coffee (300 words), before lunch (up to 600 words), before finishing I wanted to have 1000+ words down. 
• I did do some research along the way, but my priority was getting the words down.
• At the end of each day, I recorded my total word count and how many words I had managed. Keeping an eye on whether I was on track to make my target date was motivating.
• Early on, I drafted a blurb outline and re-visited this sporadically.
• At around that time, I drafted my introduction and conclusion and consulted these frequently to help with the overall cohesion of the project.
• First draft done. Smiled with exhaustion.

• Then came the editing:
• First pass for strength of writing. 
• Second pass, word frequency.
• Third pass listening to the drafts with Word ‘Read Aloud’ function.
• Sent off for proof copies (by this stage it had become two books)
• Fourth pass. Reviewed the print books, pencil in hand. Tightened paragraphs that didn’t flow. Edited computer document.
• Fifth pass reviewed the word document – spelling, grammar, dialogue tags, missing question marks, comma use.
• Sixth, seventh passes – Read through keeping an eye on individual sentences as well as overall story. Looked for consistency between books 1 and 2.

• 
  

At my desk

• Dreamt it. Talked it. Reviewed it. 
• Chose launch date.

Now waiting.

 

But you are in Italy, Signora: Book One

Prelude to an Italian Spring 

and 

But you are in Italy, Signora: Book Two

Diary of a Tuscan Beginner

out on November 1 2025.

I hope that helps. Let me know. 😍

Please find below links to my 5 books (including Books 1-3 in my 'French at Heart' series). With thanks.

The links should take you to where you need to go, wherever you are in the world, to make a purchase.

• But you are in France, Madame: One family, three children, five bags and the promise of adventure living in the French Alps
• Weaving a French Life: An Australian story
• Love, fear and a return to France: A family memoir
• With bare feet and sandy toes: Growing up in Australia in the 1960s & 70s
• Talk and Play with your Child in French

Back to Burgundy

 

Burgundian countryside

Kate, it is hard to believe that it has been nearly two years since we last chatted about your French journey. At that time, you and your husband, Nathan, were navigating visa constraints and travelling back and forth between your homes in Australia and France. However, following you on Instagram, I know that there has been an exciting development in your French lives of late. Tell us more.

Thank you so much for reaching out to me and again being interested in our life here in France.

Things have definitely changed for us over the past two years. We made the decision to sell everything in Australia……our French restaurant, our house, our car and we packed everything up into two pallets worth of belongings and shipped them all to France.

Just reading this back it sounds quite crazy and a lot of people probably think that we are, but we followed our dream of living in France permanently, and without any children or family ties in Australia it was not a huge decision to make and we just did it!! We of course miss friends in Australia but so many have come to visit us and it’s just wonderful to have time here with them and to show everyone our day-to-day life, why we chose to be here and what we love about France. Its great to have one to three weeks with people to slow down and chat and catch up whereas when they lived around the corner we would just have quick get-togethers but we really have had quality time with friends here, and we know we will in the future when more of our beautiful friends around the world visit us.

It was really exciting for us when our shipment from Australia arrived. It was like Christmas and we got to unpack some really special pieces of artwork, books, photos and things that meant a lot to us to merge our two lives together and cement our life here.

In saying all that, cementing our life here has been a little bit challenging (to put it ever so mildly) with the French bureaucracy. The French are definitely known for excessive red tape and we have experienced these challenges and frustrations firsthand.

Kate and Nathan in front of their new home in Burgundy

Visas … I suspect that this might not be your favourite word. Where are you up to with this process?

We arrived on a tourist Visa which gave us one year to be here without working. During this year, we drew up our business plan to open a small cooking school in our home and to conduct small bespoke food and wine and cooking tours around the Burgundy region. We filled out all the relevant financial and health documents and since then we have been waiting for over a year for our right to work and then we had to fight to extend our visa for three months and now that is just about to expire. We’ve extended it for another three months, all this without hearing any updates or progress reports on our carte de séjour which means we would have the right to work and have healthcare etc in France.

But in saying all this, we would still encourage people to follow their dream to move to France if that’s what they would like to do, but to enter into it with an endless amount of patience and infinite financial resources in case they also have to wait a long period for a positive outcome to their Visa application.

Summer lunch with friends

Even without the right to work at the moment and the uncertainty of our permanent future here we feel as if we still have to strive forward with the process and be patient and be positive. So with that in mind, we have made yet another somewhat gutsy move you could say, and bought a bigger home in a wine village to create our cooking school with accommodation. We sold our beautiful little cottage here in the countryside of Burgundy and will be moving closer to Beaune which we believe is the wine and culinary centre of Burgundy.

It was a really big decision to sell our picturesque little stone country cottage in the Morvan national park. It was a fantastic holiday house surrounded by beautiful countryside, but it was a little more challenging to live there year-round. We also feel that for our clients, we can provide a better tour experience closer to markets and wineries and we will renovate this new house specifically to offer cooking classes, wine tastings, a small on-site brocante and accommodation.

You had some wonderful advice and practical tips in our last interview for anyone who was dreaming of buying their own place in France, did it make this second purchase easier?

Renovating decisions

We enter this new (and huge) renovation more confidently than when we tackled our first home, La Petite Maison, as over the past two years we have developed friendships and relationships and now have access to quality trades people. Renovating in France is incredibly challenging as I’m sure it as it is in many parts of the world and we have found it terribly hard with our limited French to talk about technical parts of the renovation with electricity and plumbing and that sort of thing. It was extremely hard to even get trades people to come and give us a quote for work and then there are the horror stories of people telling us that we would be charged tourist rates instead of local rates so we were only sceptical with some of some of the quotes that we received. But luckily now we have reliable and exceptional trades people that we get to work with on this new project. My advice to anyone buying a property here and renovating it is to get the advice of neighbours or local people and try and get referrals from them. A lot of tradespeople also will not travel far for work so will only work within a village and a very small radius around that village, so it really is best to talk to the locals about who they trust and recommend.

Having lived full time in France, organised renovations, and participated in village and social activities, your language must have had a work out. How is your French now?

Teddy

Our French has definitely improved over the past two years mainly out of necessity but also out of a desire for us to be able to communicate with our friends and now we are comfortable in nearly all situations and social environments. People may have seen on Instagram that we bought a puppy about six months ago and locals are very amused when they realise that Teddy is bilingual. All his commands he understands in both French and English so if he has one of our French friends looking after him, he can understand them and then also us when we forget to use French. 😆

To finally wrap this up I would say that we are very happy with our life here and with our decision to move here permanently. We’ve had some stressful times lately with the prefecture and our Visa status and how slowly that is moving along, but we couldn’t wish for more beautiful friendships and relationships  and we continue to embrace French culture, its food, wine and lifestyle and we absolutely love hosting our friends from all around the world and sharing with them all that makes France so special and so enviable for many. We truly feel lucky to have had the opportunity to make this move and to create a new chapter in our lives…

Wow, from one leap of faith to another. At the moment, you are burning both end of the candle having moved full steam ahead with your renovation. Your project looks both exciting and exhausting ... and fun to watch from the sidelines and see the wonderful progress that you're making. 

I look forward to staying in touch and wish you both the very best with your new ventures. 

 

If you would like to follow her journey (highly recommended), Kate can be found on Instagram @la_grande_maison_burgundy/

Nathan and Teddy at home in France

And for another French-Australian story (mine 😊), please find below links to my 5 books (including Books 1-3 in my 'French at Heart' series). With thanks.

The links should take you to where you need to go, wherever you are in the world, to make a purchase.

• But you are in France, Madame: One family, three children, five bags and the promise of adventure living in the French Alps
• Weaving a French Life: An Australian story
• Love, fear and a return to France: A family memoir
• With bare feet and sandy toes: Growing up in Australia in the 1960s & 70s
• Talk and Play with your Child in French