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| If not now ... Paris at night |
Have I been a consistent blog contributor over the last few years? No. I can't claim to have shown up regularly here, but to my surprise thousands of you check in every month. Either you do me a great honour or it is the bots keeping an eye out. Let's presume it is the first because today I have an introduction to make.
Blog aside, social-media reticence aside, Instagram is where I hang out. Kandi, too, but I'll let her tell you her story:
Kandi, it has been lovely connecting with you. Thank you for participating in my (very) occasional series, ‘Australians in France.’
People often assume there must have been some dramatic catalyst, a marriage crisis, a career burnout or an early midlife crisis involving a sports car.
The truth is far less cinematic.
At 52, I realised I'd accidentally started talking about life as though the interesting bits were behind me. My husband, who's twenty-two years older than me, had somehow managed to cram more adventures into his fifties than I'd given myself permission to contemplate. Meanwhile, I'd started behaving as though mine were the beginning of the end.
That seemed like a fairly ridiculous attitude to take. So I rented an apartment in Paris and moved in alone. If not now, Paris became less of an Instagram handle and more of a challenge to myself. If I wasn't going to do it now... when exactly was I planning to?
How long do you anticipate living in Paris?
Officially, eight months.
Unofficially... ask me after I've had to board the flight home.
The plan has always been to return to Australia for Christmas, but let's just say I'm no longer ruling anything out.
To undertake a trip such as yours there must have been a fair amount of preparation. What were some of the things on your pre-departure to-do list and do you have any hints for anyone who might be thinking of doing the same thing?
The visa was probably the biggest hurdle. Australians can only spend 90 days in the Schengen Area without one, so that process started two months before I left.
My biggest piece of advice? Don't wait until everything is perfect.
There is no magical moment where every loose end has been tied up. If I'd waited for that, I'd still be sitting in Melbourne researching adapters and overseas phone plans.
How did you choose the area and apartment where you now live in Paris? Your Instagram followers would have heard your apartment tales (unresponsive manager, inaccurate ad description …). Any updates?
Location was easy.
I wanted to be able to walk everywhere and have instant access to great dining and specialty food stores, so I opted to live on the right bank amongst the historical centre.
As I work from home, having an external view was an important feature too.
The apartment itself... let's call it an excellent lesson in French resistance!
It was advertised with blackout blinds and air-conditioning. It has neither. During Paris' record-breaking heatwave, I ended up installing my own thermal backed curtains because the property manager wouldn't.
The dispute is still ongoing, although public pressure on their social media account seems remarkably more effective than unanswered emails.
Now settled in France, what does a typical day look like for you? You’ve intimated that you are learning French. How, if at all, has that impacted your settling in?
People imagine my days are all champagne on café terraces.
The reality is usually emails, Zoom calls with Australian clients, trying to work out French hardware stores and applying bandaids to my blistered feet because I’m now walking so much.
I'm learning French every day, mostly by necessity. I've done an immersion course in Avignon but I’m far from being able to hold a conversation and routinely confuse words in spectacular fashion.
The effort, though, changes everything. French people are incredibly patient when they can see you're genuinely trying and though my grammar may be questionable, I think my enthusiasm counts for something.
Do you have any stories that you are able to share with us: moments that have been joyous, difficult (other than dealing with your apartment managers), rewarding, funny etc.
One of the unexpected joys has been learning to enjoy being told non.
Australians tend to believe the customer is always right. The French seem to believe the customer is usually wrong, but with a little guidance can be saved from themselves. I wandered into a store to replace my favourite mascara. The saleswomen looked at it, looked at me and simply said, "Non." Apparently, that mascara was no longer for me. She handed me a different one instead. She was absolutely right. It's much better.
The same thing happened at my local fromagerie. I confidently asked for a particular fromage chèvre to recreate a strawberry and pecan salad I'd eaten at a restaurant. The cheesemonger wanted to know what dressing I was using. Before I could finish
explaining, he declared, "Non," and started cutting samples of cheeses that were, in his opinion, far more suitable.
At this point, the French woman waiting behind me decided to join the conversation.
She quizzed me about the dressing, frowned at my answers and enthusiastically recommended an alternative. The only word I understood was Dijon.
I've stopped interpreting these moments as criticism and started seeing them as generosity. The French seem genuinely delighted to share what they know, and I'm discovering that saying yes to being corrected is a surprisingly enjoyable way to learn.
Without hesitation.
Not because France is perfect, it most certainly isn't, but because living somewhere is completely different from visiting.
Thanks so much, Kandi. As someone who has received her fair share of 'non,' I could relate to your answers. I am sure that any who peek at my blog with a dream of France will be inspired by your enthusiasm and 'just do it' approach.
I look forward to staying in touch.
If you would like to follow Kandi's journey, her photos and Paris updates can be found on Instagram here
PS If you have just found your way to me, here are the links to all my books: French series Italian series
And, as always, you can find me on Instagram here.
