I was asked recently, by someone heading for a short stint in France, if I could think of any obvious cultural pitfalls to try and avoid when she arrived. The need to greet all present before launching into the nitty-gritty of the reason for being somewhere, and the 'bise', (the delightful French custom of greeting by way of a kiss or kisses), came to mind immediately.
A little later, I was preparing myself a tisane, a herbal tea, made, in this case, exclusively from the plants in the gardens of the Talloires Abbey, when I remembered an awkward moment that I had experienced many years before.
Then, employed by the French government as an English-speaking assistante, my rather vague job description was to help out the English teachers with their classes in two French collèges. It was a nine-month position and, as I was young and carefree, it seemed like an excellent way to experience first-hand living à la française.
As luck would have it, I was posted to Grenoble, where the only person that I knew in France, lived. My friend suggested that she meet me at the train station and take me back to her parents' house for a couple of days until I found my feet. Hugely relieved at the idea, I accepted. Breakfast had finished for the family when I arrived, but the mother busied herself with preparing me a cup of tea ... only the cup was not like any cup that I had drunk tea from before. In my limited experience, soup would have been a more suitable liquid and I looked around for a spoon, thinking that it was strange that no-one in all my years studying French at school and at university had prepared me for drinking tea like the French. But, there was no spoon and I wriggled uncomfortably, hearing my own mother's voice concerning soup-drinking etiquette. "Don't slurp." "Tilt the bowl at an angle away from you and use your spoon to get the last drops." "No, Catherine, do not pick up the bowl with your hands." What was I to do? I procrastinated, waited until my host left the room, grabbed the bowl with both hands, downed the tea and slipped the bowl quickly back in place... precisely as I should have done, minus the haste and embarrassment.
And now, for a bit of cultural confusion in reverse.
Back in Australia, my daughter took a packet of Mini Bites (bite-sized brown rice crackers) to school to eat at recess. Hoeing into them, there was a loud guffaw from the boy to her right. Said monsieur then reached into his pocket for his iPhone. Still laughing, he took a photo to send back to his classmates in France. His language background took him on an altogether different mind journey ... if further explanation needed click here
The bise can be confounding. The Belgians start on the right, the French on the left. Some do one, some two, some three! It's like a dance--you have to see how your partner leads.
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree. A lovely old-fashioned dance. Although taken aback initially, it was surprisingly reassuring to have teenage boys approach me confidently to give me the bise. That would never happen in Australia and we all miss it.
DeleteOh the joys of cultural mishaps! The story about your daughter and the package of Mini Bites gave me a really good laugh. Awhile back in America a company tried to sell mini quiches and called them les petites bites... I'm sure you can only imagine how well that went over. ;)
ReplyDeleteHa ha! I can imagine. Similar to my reaction when I came across a restaurant in Australia called the verge... And I am sure we could keep going!
DeleteWhat fun ruminations of possible cultural errors. I think most Americans will never have to figure out how to do a cheek kiss, since they won't grow close to French people, only meet them in tourist-activity settings. The cup like a bowl I learned on my second trip to France. But I had no idea about the "bite." Now I do.
ReplyDeleteI'd love it if you'd come play along with Dreaming of France, even though you're already in France. Here’s my Dreaming of France meme
Hi Paulita, I have gone across to your Dreaming of France and I hope I have done what needs to be done to join in. I tried on one occasion to place your picture on my blog but failed miserably. Hints? Actually, we are back in Australia now, although my husband has just come back from France, so my last couple of blogs were more or less living vicariously through him. We have a house there https://lecormorantalloires.wordpress.com, which in our absence is available for holiday rental. Since our purchase our trips back have been geared to maintenance, not pleasure, but hopefully soon we will all be back for a longer period of time.
DeleteVery funny! I had no idea that the word "bite" had that "alternative" meaning in French. Pronounced "beet?" I'll watch out for that one. No wonder I never understand what French kids are saying to each other!
ReplyDeleteUnderstanding French kids...that's a whole other language!
ReplyDeleteCatherine, Thanks so much for playing along with Dreaming of France. Here’s my Dreaming of France meme
ReplyDeleteI have definitely run into some interesting new cultural differences while living in Germany for the past year. A different world from my native Kentucky :)
ReplyDeleteAnd isn't that exactly what makes life interesting! I write honestly about my time in France, but underlying all my tongue-in-cheek comments is the greatest desire to learn and embrace what I experience. I hope that you are enjoying your time in Germany. How much longer are you there?
ReplyDeletePerhaps forever :) we shall see
DeleteEnjoy it all.
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